


gotta catch 'em all

by silent_masque



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pokemon Fusion, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7569037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_masque/pseuds/silent_masque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Honestly, I don't even know why I'm friends with you, Hunk."</p><p>“Because we grew up together and I caught you your first Pokémon because you were too scared to throw the Pokéball at that Poochyena?”</p><p>--</p><p>A love story in the Pokémon world told in pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. it's you and me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> teams will be mentioned as they go, but i have a full list if you want, just hit me up! 
> 
> props to the bae [hartlesmage](http://hartlesmage.tumblr.com/) for pulling them together. i love him even though he's on team mystic, it's okay.

“When I find this guy, I’m gonna beat him this time!” Lance did not lament into his drink. His completely normal, human milk. Not Poké milk, Hunk. That would never catch on. Because it sounded gross. “I’ll get him and his stupid, perfect mullet.”

“Okay, dude, first of all, it doesn’t  _ sound  _ like you hate him,” Hunk said, “because if you hate him so much, why do you always say his mullet is perfect? Or his eyebrows? Or his fingerless gloves? Does he even actually have a mullet?”

“I can think that his fingerless gloves are great without him!”

“And second,” Hunk carried on, like he didn’t even hear Lance, the traitor, “do you even know his name? You just keep calling him the Hot Ranger. While I’m sure it’s fitting, I feel awkward calling him the Hot Ranger without meeting him? Or seeing him? We have really different taste in people.

“And third – ”

“ _ Oh my god _ , why this. This is payback, isn’t it.” Lance dragged a hand down his face and did not throw his glass of Poké milk (he would call it anything if it would make Hunk shut up) at the wall. That was a waste of milk. He wasn’t that angry. But he did dribble a little of it to the floor for Adrina, his Floatzel. While making only full eye contact with Hunk.

The principle. While he also got to treat her.

“And  _ third _ ,” Hunk said, and took Lance’s glass away. To refill it with more milk. Plus fill a bowl for Adrina. And grab a couple of berries for her too. Traitor, “isn’t he a Ranger? Do they even do battles? More to the point, have you said anything to him before…ever?”

“Look, I’m working on it! He keeps running away to take care of more Pokémon with his stupid, perfect fanny pack.” Lance downed his completely normal, human milk and glared.

Hunk sighed, scratching Adrina under the chin when she wandered over for a couple of Oran berries, the second traitor. “How is his fanny pack perfect if it’s stupid?”

“That is  _ not _ the point, Hunk, and you know it! Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m friends with you.” Lance did not grouse. He was not grousing. He was being completely mature about this. So mature. This was totally reasonable bitching about unfairly attractive and probably really powerful Ranger who was probably great to his team and kind to all of the Pokémon he helped and –

– okay it was possible that Hunk was onto something, but equally possible that he  _ wasn’t _ .

Hunk just rolled his eyes and started clearing the table, gathering up the dishes to put them in the sink. The Poké dishes in the Poké sink. “Because I run the best day care in the region?”

“Nope.”

“Because all of your Pokémon like me more than they like you?”

“Nope.”

“Because we grew up together and I caught you your first Pokémon because you were too scared to throw the Pokéball at that Poochyena?”

“Nope.”

“Because I’m so much cooler than you and you know it?”

“Watch it, buddy.” Lance did not mumble. It was way cooler than that. Manble. (Okay, strike that. That was a no. Definite no.)

“Look, all I’m saying is that you should try talking to the guy and get his name first before you try battling and have him walk all over you because he’s probably a really cool Ranger, and you haven’t even beaten all the gyms yet,” Hunk said, gathering Adrina up and depositing that traitorous furball in his lap, before heading for the yard door.

“Whose side are you even on?!” There was also no squawking. Indignant shouting. That kind of cracked a little in the middle. But you couldn’t prove anything. His voice did  _ not _ crack anymore. No way.

Hunk turned around. “Your Pokémon’s? They deserve better than that.”

His eyebrow was on its way up. Lance knew that it was. He raised his own before Hunk’s could go up though. Because his eyebrows were the alpha eyebrows. This had been already decided in their eyebrow off. Lance’s eyebrows won.

“I hate you and your Poké milk!” Lance shouted after Hunk as he left for the stupid Poké yard.

“Then it’s going to be 5000 for your Sharpedo!”

“Never mind!”


	2. searching far and wide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gestures vaguely  
> continuing in my grand tradition of writing this when i should be doing other things

“Okay, so look, Pidge says that she can maybe help with this Ranger thing. If you want to  _ talk _ to an actual Ranger. Maybe they can help you find your mysterious, Aesthetically Pleasing Ranger.”

Lance leveled a  _ look _ at Hunk. Because they were having a nice lunch. Like, a really nice lunch in the yard, with Lance’s team running free, and his favorite Vaporeon (he was named Blue, and that was not his fault, he was 13) curled up in his lap.

This was supposed to be a  _ good day _ .

Stupid Hot Ranger with his stupid, perfect face.

“Just call him the Hot Ranger. That’s so excessive, Hunk. The Hot Ranger.”

Hank raised an eyebrow and it only felt a little bit judgmental this time. Lance, because he was awesome, did not argue this time and pet Blue’s really, really cool fins. Gently. Because Blue got fussy when Lance pet him too hard.

“Anyways. Pidge says her brother knows a guy who knows a guy who’s a Ranger. And you can, like, ask him stuff. About your Aesthetically Pleasing Ranger. And finally stop whining to me about it,” Hunk said, finishing the last bit of his sandwich. “Because you know, I’m here for you and all of your problems because I’m your best friend. But dude, that means I’m telling you. You have to stop pining. Either fight the guy or kiss him. Do something.”

“Oh my god, you can’t just tell me to go kiss someone, Hunk! Where the hell is that even coming from?” Lance didn’t shout because that would scare Blue. But he did say so loud enough that Blue gave him a grumpy look and a nip on the finger before going back to his nap.

Hunk threw his empty sandwich wrapper at Lance’s head. And they both watched it roll down the steps after it bounced off his nose.

“Rude.”

They both stared at it, and then at each other.

“I’ll grab that. Don’t want Blue eating it.” Lance shrugged.

“Blue is smarter than that, and we both know it. Don’t we, Blue?” he absolutely cooed over his Vaporeon because Blue was cute and deserved everything, dammit. Even cooing. Lance would coo for him.

“Yeah, but this new Psyduck brood isn’t, and I don’t need to be giving CPR to anymore Psyducks this week,” Hunk said, shoulders slumped in resignation. It was just a fact of being a breeder. Lance pat him on the shoulder and thanked Arceus and every other Poké deity that he still got to be a trainer. “They just. They just eat everything.”

“Hang in there, buddy,” Lance said. It was a companionable silence after that, watching Pokémon run through the yard, Blue stretching out and getting comfy across both his and Hunk’s laps, just sitting. Like they were twelve again and out catching Pokémon on routes again.

“All I’m saying is, next time I run into him, I’ll get a picture of him, and then you’ll have to agree with me and call him the Hot Ranger, because every time you call him the Aesthetically Pleasing Ranger, I think I grow older.”

“Lance, we are literally always aging.”

“You know what I mean,” Lance said, and Hunk just shook his head.

“I really don’t, Lance. But maybe Pidge’s brother’s friend’s Ranger friend will,” Hunk said brightly, thumping Lance on the back. Which almost sent him  _ and _ Blue flying, and that was just not okay. Blue didn’t deserve that. Because Blue was the sweetest grouchy Vaporeon ever and also Lance’s first evolved Pokémon.

Blue didn’t deserve to be woken from his nap.

“Great, now I have to get him back to sleep again,” Lance groused, real grousing, because Blue was glaring at him. And at Hunk. But mostly at him, which was unfair, really, because it was all Hunk’s fault in the first place. “Do you know how much he hates being woken from his naps?”

“Oh, I know, but it’s your fault for being so weak that all I had to do was pat you a little bit and you almost threw him into the yard,” Hunk said, shrugging. “You should work on that. No one likes a weak trainer, least of all an Aesthetically Pleasing Ranger.”

“You, my friend, can go back to your hole in the ground with your stupid, buff Pokémon, and stay there, and I will take care of your whole Day Care.” Hunk stared Lance dead in the eye, gripping his hand tight. It was soft. Baby soft. Baby Goldeen soft. That shit was  _ soft _ . Hunk had been a rock/ground trainer when they had started, yelling that he was as strong as the earth when they were running around routes as children.

That was just wrong. Was this what settling down did to you? Lance shuddered at the thought.

“I would love that. I would really, really love that. Please run my Day Care for a day. I will give you the keys right now and come back in 24 hours.” There was no humor in Hunk’s face. There was only keys in his hand, held out to Lance to actually take.

“Okay, let’s not forget that you  _ love _ your job, Hunk,” Lance said, pushing the keys slowly back to Hunk. No sudden movements. “And that you  _ love _ your Pokémon. And you think that I’m inept. You don’t want an inept trainer taking care of all these Poké babies now, do you?”

“You’re probably right,” Hunk said, staring at his keys and then at Lance. “Your Pokémon already have to suffer through you. I shouldn’t make others go through that – ”

“I’m going to be a really nice guy and pretend I didn’t just hear that.”

“ – but in return for not taking the Day Care for a day, you have to meet Pidge’s brother’s friend’s Ranger friend.”

Lance stared.

“Hunk, your ultimatum doesn’t even make sense.”

“Okay, but it does!” Hunk said with a really strange triumphant gleam in his eye. He didn’t have triumphant gleams. Not even when he beat Lance in a battle. (The score was 12 to 15 in Lance’s favor, thank you very much.) “The only way you’re going to get out of this is by running the Day Care because I already told Pidge to tell her brother to tell his friend to bring his Ranger friend over.”

“This doesn’t even make sense! I don’t need to meet a Ranger! I just need to beat the Hot Ranger!” Lance threw his arms up in frustration, as if some Poké God could hear him. Maybe Arceus. He liked Arceus a lot. “Just once!”

“Dude, I don’t think you want to beat him just once,” Hunk said, patting Lance on the shoulder like an apology. Lance did not need an apology. Except for meeting Pidge’s Ranger friend once removed or something like that.

Blue was even disgruntled enough to hop off his lap, hissing a little bit, before he wandered over to the pool where all of Lance’s other Pokémon were.

“I know exactly what you’re thinking is happening, but it’s not. It’s not! So don’t even start on that.” Lance slumped over, hiding his face in his hands. “If I promise never to bring up the Hot Ranger to you ever again, will that stop this?”

“Nope, but I would definitely appreciate it.”

Lance just groaned in response. Honestly, who even needed best friends anyways?


	3. hearts so true

The door jingled every time someone walked through. Hunk thought the bell was cute. Lance wanted to strangle it. He could hear it from literally anywhere in the building. Even outside the building. In the yard. Where he was trying to bond with his team.

No, really. Team bonding. Hunk had laughed in his face, but Lance had his swim trunks on and he was going to totally swim and bond with his team.

Or, that was the plan.

“Hunk, Lance! Where are you guys?”

And that was Pidge. Sweet, small Pidge, who had all the force of a Gyarados and more (like, five Gyarados, or something), because Lance wasn’t afraid of a Gyarados. His Gyarados, Danny, was very sweet when she wanted to be, and also more grouchy than really angry, except when provoked. But Lance was definitely sometimes afraid of Pidge, who wasn’t afraid of anything or anybody and didn’t even have to be provoked.

Lance turned to his Pokémon, swimming lazily in the pool. Where he also wanted to be.

“Okay, maybe if we’re all really quiet, she’ll never know we’re back here,” he said. His Pokémon were smart. They would know. They would understand. Adrina even nodded.

Which was why it was super rude when Miles, his Feraligatr, decided to bellow at the top of his lungs, which got Danny  _ and _ Luke, his Sharpedo, going. Loudly.

“Guys! Guys, no! We agreed not to do this!” Lance tried yelling over his Pokémon, which was not very effective at all.  _ He _ couldn’t even hear himself over their yowling.

“Lance!” Pidge shouted, as she threw open the back door to the house. Which, of course, was what got all of them to shut up. The traitors. Lance was literally constantly surrounded by traitors everywhere. “Where’s Hunk?”

Lance groaned. The team bonding would have to happen at some other time, then. “I think he went to check on the Charmanders?”

Which was when  _ Hunk’s _ screams started.

Lance looked over at Pidge. Pidge looked back. And they both looked over at the shed that had been converted into an incubator. For fire Pokémon. The fire Pokémon incubator, which had several fire extinguishers propped up against all sides.

“Oh my God, I’m on  _ fire _ !” Hunk shouted from the incubator shed and Lance gestured for Danny. She swam over and looked up curiously at Lance. As curious as  a Gyarados could look, really.

“Pidge, come over here. Danny’s usually pretty accurate, but her aim gets off,” Lance said, pointing to the incubator shed, which was still not on fire and truly a testament to that shed’s staying power, “Over there. Waterfall. Just the whole thing. Hunk is probably a little bit on fire.”

Pidge shuffled over, edging around the Pichu running through the yard, while Danny reared back before just drenching the shed in water.

It was pretty impressive, actually, but Lance had always been impressed with Gyaradoses, which was why he had gone through the effort of naming and evolving a Magikarp.

Truly a majestic, angry-looking shrimp thing. Lance’s favorite.

“Good Danny,” he said, patting her on the side, right behind the fin, where she liked pats best. She roared in contentment as Hunk came trudging out, his boots squelching in the yard.

“Hey, Pidge.”

“Hunk.”

“The Charmanders were very happy to see me.” Lance gestured at Hunk’s shoulder, which was still smoldering a little bit. Hunk glance at it, but all he managed was a half a shrug. “It’ll go out eventually.”

“I told you to let me fix up your incubator. At least you could wear more flame retardant clothing or something,” Pidge grumbled because grumbling was what she did when people were intentionally obtuse about safety. Or being burned. Or even when people just weren’t that efficient. Like Hunk. She just grumbled a lot over Hunk.

“Nah. The Charmanders would just try to bite me and take all that off. They know me too well.” Hunk shrugged again. “They care. It’s okay. I think the fire means they love me.”

“I know they’re babies, and I know that they’re baby fire Pokémon and all, but that still seems pretty unsafe, dude. You should try listening to Pidge,” Lance said. For some reason, even though he was the one being reasonable, that just got him a deadpan face from both of them. Which, rude. He was trying to be supportive. And ignite Hunk at every possible moment. “Okay. Okay, fine. If you like being on fire, then see if I care.”

“Anyways, what’re you doing here, Pidge? Didn’t you say you’d be by at one?” Hunk said, “And you didn’t even bring your brother! Or your brother’s friend. Or his ranger friend.”

“Well, Matt and Shiro  _ both _ promised me they’d be here.” Pidge folded her arms, glaring at the Day Care over the rims of her glasses. Or glaring out past the Day Care to her brother. And his friend. Lance wasn’t sure which name was supposed to go to which person, but they both sounded awful familiar. “But they called, like, half an hour ago saying I should just go ahead, because they just got a new challenger and they’d be busy, but they’d get there as soon as they finished. And they’ll bring Keith. So for now, you guys just get me. Is that going to be a problem?”

Her raised eyebrow was so arched and sharp that it would probably hurt Lance if he tried to respond.

So he shook his head and hoped he didn’t look stupid, bobbing around like he was. He probably did, though. Pidge just arched her eyebrow harder.

“Okay, so when will they get here? Do you want to eat something in the mean time?” Hunk said. Truly a gift, saving Lance from Pidge’s eyebrows.

“Sounds good. What do you have?”

“I think there’s some leftover curry from yesterday.”

“Oh, the one in the fridge?” Lance asked, as they headed up the steps to the kitchen, “I think I actually ate that for breakfast.”

“Okay, so not curry, thanks to Lance’s mouth,” Hunk said. Pidge pulled a face, the one where her nose kind of scrunched up and her glasses went just a little askew. It always made Lance just want to boop her. Boop her right on the nose, consequences be damned. “There is definitely cereal and Poké milk if you want that. I know for a fact Lance didn’t eat all of that.”

“That doesn’t so – ” Pidge started to say before her Pokédex chimed. Truck honked. Same thing. “Oh, wait, never mind. Matt said that Shiro will buy lunch and bring some for us. He’ll probably buy sandwiches and bring a whole picnic. He’s really wholesome like that.”

“Is wholesome actually an adjective you use to describe people?” Lance asked, holding the door open for Hunk and Pidge and Blue, who decided that it was his right to go in and out and follow Lance as he pleased.

“No. Just Shiro. You’ll understand when you meet him. It’s the only word you’ll be able to use.” Pidge’s face wasn’t even kidding. Well. That was misleading. Pidge’s face never kidded, but this was the even more deadpan version of that. “He and Keith are domestic.  _ Domestic _ .”

“Where does he find the money to buy all of us food? That’s six people worth of food. Who has the money for that?” Hunk said from the fridge. Bought lunch or no bought lunch, of course Hunk was going to bring out the Poké milk. He was too proud of it. There was a secret to that milk. Lance would have to grill him about it later.

“Yeah. What does your brother do, anyways?” Lance said. Pidge’s eyebrow arched again. Lance did not shudder. Blue patted him on the ankle for it. Blue always understood him.

“You actually don’t recognize them? Aren’t you supposed to be an actual trainer? I guess you’re just that far from finishing the region,” Pidge sighed.

Lance frowned.

“Did you just insult me as a trainer?”

“Yes.”

“What the hell, Pidge!” he yelled. But did not actually yell, because both Hunk and Blue were glaring at him. “I am  _ not _ that bad.”

“Holt. My last name is Holt. My brother’s name is Matt  _ Holt _ .”

“Yes. Yes, we know that,” Lance said, while Hunk breathed out an “oh my god” quietly and faintly, his eyes going round. Full round.

“Uh, Lance –”

“I just don’t get how your last name is important in all of this.”

“It’s okay, Hunk. It’ll be great once he gets it.” Pidge patted Hunk on the arm when he set the glasses of milk down on the table.

“Okay, but that’s putting a  _ lot _ of confidence in Lance’s deductive reasoning, and I just don’t know if they’re up to the task.”

“It’s like you’re barely on my side here, Hunk.”

“Lance, I have already told you. I’m not on your side. I’m on your Pokémons’ side.”

“That’s my side.”

“Anyways. Holt? My last name? Matt Holt? And Shiro? Which is short for Shirogane?” Pidge was just listing off names now. Utter nonsense.

“Yes. Sure. And my last name is Rodriguez.” Was this going somewhere yet?

“Oh my god,” Hunk whispered into the sink. “Oh my god, you know these people. You actually know these people, Pidge. Why didn’t you ever tell us?”

“I introduced myself as Pidge Holt! It wasn’t supposed to be that much of a stretch!” Pidge said indignantly. “Holt’s not even that common of a last name.”

“Okay, yes, we get it, you have a great name!” Lance threw his hands up in frustration. Holt this, Holt that. It was barely even sounding like a word anymore. “I still fail to see why this is important!”

The door jingled its irritating jingle again and Lance was pretty sure he saw Hunk retch a little bit into the sink. Or maybe he stopped breathing for a moment there. He wasn’t entirely sure, but Hunk was probably fine, no matter what it was.

“That’s probably them, come on,” Pidge said, hopping off her seat and grabbing Lance’s hand. “Come meet my brother.”

“I really don’t need you to set me up with your brother.” Pidge squeezed Lance’s hand tighter just for that, nearing Vice Grip levels.

“That is literally the opposite of what’s going to happen here, and we both know it.”

“I’ll be out in a minute. If I’m not, get Blue to Bubble me in the face or something. I think I might faint,” Hunk said weakly from over by the sink. Pidge hesitated at the door, like she was actually going to go back for him. Ah, sweet, sweet Pidge.

“Leave him. He’s being dramatic. He’ll be fine in, like, five minutes, no Bubble necessary.” Lance pushed open the door to the front room. There was something pithy and witty on the tip of his tongue, like “hello” or “so you’re Pidge’s brother” or even “hi”, but all that came out was a weak croaking noise and freezing at the door.

“So, meet my brother, Matt Holt, the Psychic Elite Four, and his friend, Takashi ‘Shiro’ Shirogane, the Steel Elite Four.” Pidge, that tiny, smug little Rattata, snuck around him to wrap an arm around her brother’s ( _ the Matt Holt _ ) shoulders. Even though she had to step up on her toes to really reach and looked  _ ridiculous _ .

And in the quietest, weakest voice, Lance finally whispered out his own “ _ oh my god _ ” because Shiro – the  _ real _ Takashi Shirogane – was  _ waving _ at him and he was in his  _ swim trunks _ . 


	4. our courage will pull us through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the wonderful response, everyone! i was having a rly rough time in the last week, which is why this is preeeetty late. but the response i've received is amazing and your support is lovely <3

“Hi.”

Oh god.

“Thanks for inviting us, by the way. Now that I know this is so close to Victory Road, I might have to come visit more often.”

Oh  _ god _ .

Shiro smiled like a baby angel that had kittens and puppies and rainbows and all things good and pure in this world.

“I hope we didn’t make you wait to long.”

Lance was going to have a  _ goddamn kitten _ at this rate.

“Keith will be by soon. He came with us, but we passed a Meowth in a tree and, well. He had to save the poor thing, so he said to go on without him. But he’ll be by soon.”

If Shiro’s regular smile was a baby angel with everything good in the world, his apologetic smile made Lance want to find every single baby Pokemon in the Daycare, wrap it in his arms, and bring them to Shiro to cuddle. And also raise with him.

This was going to make (eventually) battling the Elite Four really,  _ really _ difficult.

“You’re Lance, right?”

Too difficult. Abort mission. He was just going to have to  _ never _ battle the Elite Four. Forever. Good plan.

“Uh…Lance?”

Was his face on fire? Was he going to die? Was he going to die a glorious, Shiro-smiles-like-the-best-things-in-the-world death?

“I think I need a minute.” Did he say that? That was him right? Those were words that came out of his mouth, probably. Those were also probably his legs moving him into the back to the kitchen to, like Hunk, faint on the ground. In the back. Where Shiro and Matt (oh  _ god Pidge had been related to Matt this whole time _ ) could not see his untimely demise.

Fainting. Whatever. Same thing.

“Take all the time you need!” someone called after him. And it was probably Shiro. Because he was a calming,  _ wholesome _ , sunshine man. (Dammit. Dammit, Pidge was right. Shiro really could only be described as wholesome. That was absurd. No one should be described as wholesome. And yet.)

Lance opened the door to the back, shut it closed gently so as not to perturb Shiro’s wonderful wholesomeness, and sat straight down. Because his legs had decided to give up, of course. Just like the rest of him.

It was too much of a stretch to just lie down on the ground and give up too, probably.

Probably.

“Are they out there?”

“Hunk.”

“Yes, Lance?”

“Are you under the table?”

“Yep.”

This was a day. This was really a day.

“Is there any particular reason why you’re under the table?”

“Well why are you sitting in front of the door? Are you going to lay down in front of it? You do that a lot when you give up dramatically.”

“That’s rude.”

“Also true.”

Lance stared at Hunk.

Hunk stared back.

The door was knocked.

“Hey, are you guys okay back there? I’m coming in. Lance, now’s your chance to move from the door.”

Ah, sweet, gentle Pidge, giving him enough time to butt scooch over to the couch and avoid being hit in the back by the door. And sit on the couch and pretend like he was the normal person and Hunk was the weirdo hiding under the table.

“Seriously, if I knew that you guys were going to be this weird around my family, I would never have brought them to meet you,” Pidge huffed, grabbing Hunk by the back of his shirt on her warpath over to the back door. “I told Shiro and Matt that we’d meet them in the backyard because Keith showed up while you were freaking out. Stop pretending to be normal, Lance. I’m hungry.”

“Hey, I can walk!”

“Mhm.”

At least Lance was spared that indignity, even though his legs were barely cooperating when he fell into jerky step next to Hunk.

“No, seriously. I can totally get up and walk.”

“And I would love to see that, but I’m not taking any chances of you trying to walk outside, getting starstruck, and tripping down the stairs.” Pidge shouldered open the door instead, looking pointedly over her shoulder at Lance. “The door? Lance?”

“Right, yep, don’t want to hit Hunk in the head, I’ve got it, don’t worry.” He was still rambling, but he did stretch an arm over to keep the door open for Hunk so he could be dragged through smoothly.

“How is that better than me getting dragged down the stairs? By you!”

Pidge shrugged. “This way, Matt can’t say I don’t take care of my friends.”

“Pidge.”

“Yes, Hunk?”

“Pidge, I can’t be introduced to your brother, one of the Elite Four, and his friend, another one of the Elite Four, on my butt. That’s so inappropriate, oh my god!” Hunk groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m meeting two of the Elite Four on my butt.” If Lance could have patted Hunk on the head without being condescending, he would have. (He still really wanted to; Hunk had super, duper fluffy hair that baby Pokémon slept in.  _ Slept in. _ )

“And Keith,” Pidge said. “Don’t forget Keith.”

“And Keith!” Hunk said, before glancing over his shoulder, squinting. “Wait, who’s Keith?”

“I’m Keith,” said Keith. Said probably Keith. Said the ranger who was standing next to Shiro. Said the hot ranger standing next to Shiro. Said the  _ Hot Ranger _ standing next to Shiro. “I’m Shiro’s…ranger friend? Is that what I have to go by now?” Said  _ Shiro’s Hot Ranger _ .

Lance knew his face was doing the thing that Hunk always said made him look like a Magikarp. The one where his jaw kind of dropped and his eyes went a little glazed and he  _ stared _ . 

Keith the ranger was  _ not _ taller than Lance, he was pretty pleased to notice. Seeing him from a distance all the time made him unsure, but it was good to be vindicated like this. Actually, Lance was a little bit taller.

But that was pretty much the only thing Lance had on Keith, because even his stupid looking  _ hair _ was so  _ perfect _ and he looked  _ nice _ in his Ranger uniform and he even made his fanny pack look cool.

His fanny pack.

Did that make him gay? If he thought Keith had a nice fanny pack?

“Wait, Lance, oh my god, is this your Hot Ranger?” Hunk whispered, or said out loud, really. There was no way that Hunk ever spoke in a whisper, first of all. But also, Keith was staring at them. Confused. And so was Pidge.

“Did you just call me Hot Ranger?”

“Shut  _ up _ right now, Hunk. Just. Shut up.”


	5. oh you're my best friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm alive still and i am still thinking about this. thank you so much for all your kind comments and continued support! i still have somewhere i'm going with this. i hope you guys enjoy!

So. They were at an impasse. 

Was that the right word for it? Staring at The Hot Ranger -  _ Keith _ , they couldn’t call him The Hot Ranger now that he  _ knew _ they called him The Hot Ranger - while he stared back at them. And staring at Shiro, also, who was laden with plastic bags, and Matt who was also laden with plastic bags too.

Hunk didn’t deserve this. He at least deserved to be on his feet through all this. And Lance, the kind and good friend who was  _ obviously _ too kind to him, dragged at his shoulders until Hunk got  _ the message _ . Just...after a couple of complicated eyebrow movements. 

_ Dude, why would you do that? _ Lance telegraphed first. 

_ You told me to use The Hot Ranger!  _ Hunk sent back to him. 

Lance started grabbing at the Hunk’s vest. And Hunk swatted back at his hands.  _ Get on your feet at least! _

_ I thought you were just trying to steal my vest! _

Lance stopped. Stared. “Hunk. Hunk, why are you like this?” 

“I ask myself this every day,” Pidge said, with a quiet and small shake of her head. 

“I’m a gift and you love me. And I let all your Pokémon stay for free, in a fit of bad judgement.” And, you know, that sounded about right. Lance really had no argument against that besides just patting Hunk on his vest and letting him get up of his own power. “Thank you.” 

“You guys really are good friends, huh?” Shiro said, and Lance wasn’t swooning from a compliment from Shiro, but like. His heart was. Inside. 

“Pidge tells us such fun stories about you guys,” Matt said. This was clearly a mistake. 

“Pidge.” Lance turned to her. Gravely.Hunk nods just as gravely. Their honor was at stake here. In front of two members of the Elite Four and the Hot - Keith. Just Keith. Regular Keith. “Pidge, you promised. To the grave.”

Pidge just rolled her eyes. “Well I didn’t tell them  _ those _ . There are a lot of stories about you guys, you know. Like that time you guys fell in the river and I tried to pull you out, but you missed, and grabbed an Ekans instead of a vine? I thought that was pretty classic.”

“Okay! No one needed to know that one!” Lance threw his hands up. Exasperation. The only real emotion to feel around Pidge. (Not that he  _ hated _ Pidge or anything, just. She was really, really exasperating to deal with. That was really the only way to describe her.) “Like, no one!”

“So? I figured that I couldn’t keep stories like  _ that _ locked up forever. That’s the kind of thing that shouldn’t be kept from people, you understand. The world needs to know about it,” Pidge said, wandering over to take something rolled up from one of Matt’s bags. 

A blanket. She just went off and spread it out on the grass. Like nothing. Why was she like this? 

“Oh, let me help!” Hunk rushed around Lance. Of course  _ now _ he had his feet under him enough to go and walk around like a normal person and  _ abandon him _ .

Did he deserve this? Absolutely not. He ought to fire all his friends and just hire new ones. 

“Well,” Shiro said kindly, because he was made of actual small, baby Pokémon. Like baby Littens. The completely average Keith shuffled a little next to him and glared. “I think that it was funny. You guys sound like you’re always having a good time, you know?” 

“Right.” Lance just refused to believe his voice was as strangled as it sounded. There was just no way. “Thanks?”

There was a beat of silence. The ground looked very tempting for just. Lying down and never getting back up again. 

“How about food?” 

Shiro. The man, the god. A true savior in these trying times. Even Keith the Completely Average Ranger just scoffed as he knocked shoulders with Shiro on his way to the food. Watching the man work was truly a thing of beauty.

If Lance went after Shiro just to fawn at him a little from behind where he couldn’t see Lance, then could anyone really blame him?

(Hunk. Hunk could. Hunk gave him That Look and Lance knew he’d been caught out, but that was  _ fine _ . Lance wasn’t the one who fainted in the kitchen.) 

Pidge and Matt had done a good job already laying out a several plastic bags worth of food. Sandwiches, chips,  _ and _ drinks for everybody. And plates and napkins. And a stack of circular tins that looked suspiciously like  _ pies _ . For dessert. 

Plus a whole pie for Hunk.

“Pidge told me how much you like baking,” Shiro said as he pulled the top tin off the stack, rubbing the back of his head  _ sheepishly _ . Why? Lance was the one who wasn’t even in proper clothing. (Which, actually he ought to fix that. Like soon. ASAP? Keith was already here. Was it too late?) “Coran got really into it, so he made me bring a whole bunch for you guys.”

Hunk stared down at the pie in his hands – and it was  _ razz berry, Hunk’s favorite _ – and stared back at Shiro. “I think I’m going to start crying right now?”

“Do you not like it? Pidge said that razz berry was your favorite, but if you’re not hungry right now, I can always–” Shiro said, reaching for the pie, which was a mistake, of course. Hunk clutched it to his chest.

“Oh no, I’m definitely keeping this.” Hunk cradled the tin up against his chest, like the baby Teddyursas who always needed cuddling. “I just never thought that I would ever be gifted pie from the Elite Four.”

“Hunk takes his desserts very seriously. I really wouldn’t recommend trying to get between him and that pie,” Lance said, tucking his legs up under him until that became uncomfortable. But did folding legs up make him look more indecent?

He moved to scrunch up, but a slow shake of the head from Pidge was enough to make him put them back down.

“Well, I’ll be sure to pass any feedback you have to Coran. He’d love to hear what you think,” Shiro said, setting a plate out in front of Lance.

Was Lance blushing?

He hoped it was only a little.

“So!” Matt said, clapping him on the back, “Pidge told us that you’re a trainer, Lance! When are we going to see you on the Victory Road? How many badges do you have?”

Was his badges case in his other pants? Like his regular, real people pants? Lance patted down his sides just to make sure.

Yep. Definitely in his people pants.

“Uh,” he said quite astutely. “Uh, like 4?” In 5 years. That was plenty respectable.

Pidge may have looked unimpressed, but Matt and Shiro just nodded understandingly. Why did they have to have the mean Holt? Why couldn’t have Matt, who was obviously the nice Holt?

“I’m sure you’ll reach us in no time, Lance,” Shiro said. Encouragingly, even. Why did he have to go and do things like exude kindness and compassion? “You’re already halfway there. I’m definitely looking forward to battling you in the future. If you’d want to, of course.”

Lance choked down a  _ completely dignified _ squeak and managed to squeeze out a strangled affirmative noise instead. Maybe. Shiro understood it just fine, though, because he and Matt both looked at each other and grinned.

If Lance died, like. In this moment. He’d be – well, dead. But also he’d die  _ ecstatic _ .

“So how did you guys meet Pidge? She never told us how she got to know you guys,” Matt said nonchalantly. Except it was totally chalantly, because Pidge choked on her drink a little, and Shiro leaned in.  _ Expectantly _ . Even Keith was doing something weird with his face, like he was listening. 

Lance and Hunk just...looked at each other. A complicated dance with their eyebrows commenced.

_ ‘I’m not telling him,’ _ Hunk telegraphed.  _ ‘It was your fault it happened.’ _

_ ‘No it wasn’t! It was, like, both of us,’  _ Lance shot back with a wiggle of his eye.

_ ‘But it was more you than me.’ _

_ ‘You were the one who came up with the idea in the first place.’ _

_ ‘But it’s your fault it went like that.’  _ Hunk made a good point. Hunk always made good points about this kind of thing.  _ ‘Plus, I get nervous!’ _

_ ‘But you’re better at making us not sound like idiots.’ _ Thing was, Lance could totally make good points back. 

“We got...stuck,” Hunk finally said. Slowly. Very slowly. 

“Stuck.” Matt seemed incredulous. 

“The both of us. Stuck. Yes.” Hunk started to look a little green around the edges, but no  _ way _ , Lance would never be able to save him now. “And Pidge got us out.” 

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Stuck...where, exactly?”

Hunk flushed. Oh no. “Okay, fine! So we were exploring the cave over by Route 12, and Lance found this tunnel, right?” Oh no, oh no, Hunk was starting to go critical. “And we were, like, 13 at the time! And trapped in the caves, since Lance said that he  _ knew _ how to get out and that we didn’t need an Escape Rope at the time, even though I definitely said that we would, especially since neither of us carry around Rock-type Pokémon and didn’t even have a a Pokémon that knew Rock Smash! Who does that? Why did I let that happen?” 

“Hunk, buddy - ”And then there was Pidge’s hand. Clamped over his mouth. As if this wasn’t bad enough.

“Shh, this is the best part,” Pidge muttered, and Lance really, really wished he could dump his friends and just  _ buy new ones  _ already. (Except with what money? Maybe he could find more Pokémon to be friends with.)

“So, this tunnel! It’s tiny! Lance was this super scrawny kid, and he was like ‘I can totally get through!’ which was a  _ mistake _ and not true at all, and anyways, why would you go down a mystery tunnel that no one’s used and you don’t fit in and don’t know where it goes? That’s the  _ worst _ idea ever, okay? But Lance crawls in, because he says he can fit!” Oh god, Matt looks like he’s about to die, and Pidge is already cackling under her breath. 

“Did he fit?” Lance swung to look over at Shiro, except it wasn’t Shiro. Of course it had to be Keith. Even Shiro was trying not to crack a smile, even though he was obviously smiling behind his hand. Keith just looked completely  _ serious _ . That was worse. That was way, way worse. 

“No! Of course he didn’t! He was climbed in with a flashlight and he gets stuck at the chest, like an arm out in front with the flashlight, and he still gets stuck. No  _ way _ was I going to fit. And then  _ I  _ start freaking out because my best friend is stuck! In a hole! In a cave! I couldn’t just leave him in there, so I couldn’t leave to go get help, and no one was around until Pidge came by, and  _ she _ actually thought ahead like a smart person and had a Pokémon for breaking rocks and got Lance out and then also...got me out when I fell into a hole too.” 

Matt finally broke out into wheezing, hysterical laughter at that. Pidge did too, finally moving her hand away from Lance’s face, which was unfair, because her hand was  _ very _ good at covering up him blushing. Now he was defenseless. 

Why did he have these friends? 

“In my defense,” Lance said, and thank Arceus his voice didn’t crack, and he could fold his arms in front of his still very unfortunately bared chest, “Hunk told me that he knew how to get us back out  _ and _ that he’d pull me out if I got stuck.” 

He didn’t  _ really _ , but he couldn’t look this bad in front of Shiro and Matt. And Keith. Kind of. 

Pidge was just a mess already, nothing to do about that one. 

“Pidge is pretty crafty like that,” Matt said, still wiping a tear from his eyes. “She always has a solution for these things.”

“Like bringing the right Pokémon along with me when I need them,” Pidge said with a roll of her eyes and digging into her sandwich. “Not my fault I have foresight.” 

“Wow, no wonder Pidge wouldn’t say,” Shiro said, but he was smiling, and his smile was totally worth the embarrassment in Lance’s opinion. 

Hunk was hunched mournfully over his sandwich, but his pride would recover. Probably. 

“How did  _ this _ ,” Lance gestured with his sandwich hand - a mistake, since the lettuce started to spill a little - at Shiro and Keith and Matt, “happen?” 

“Well, Keith and I grew up together,” Shiro said, and Lance did  _ not _ comment on that, but of  _ course _ they did. Keith had this stupid smile when Shiro said that, and it was  _ cute _ , dammit. “But I wanted to be a trainer, and along the way I met Matt. Keith went to become a Ranger.” Shiro hooked an arm around Keith’s shoulders, and Keith still had that same, stupid smile as he let himself be pulled down. “Youngest Ranger in his area.” 

“I just didn’t feel like wasting my time,” Keith said, patting Shiro’s arm, and Shiro let up at that. “There’s always Pokémon out there that need a little help, so why wait?” 

“And he’s also an incurable hot head!” Matt said cheerily, expertly dodging the bag of chips thrown at his head. “Like that!”

“How young were you when you became a Ranger, exactly?” Hunk said it like with most things he asked: information he desperately wanted to know but was scared to hear the answer. 

“I think…” Keith furrowed his brow, and Lance choked on his sandwich a little. The two were only a little bit correlated. “I think I was fifteen?” 

Hunk stared. “Pidge, how do you know such talented people, and then us?” 

“You guys were a happy accident,” Pidge said, patting him on the arm. “And don’t worry! You own a daycare. That’s pretty impressive.” 

Lance huffed. “What about me?”

Pidge eyed him. Judging. “You’re doing all right too, I guess.” 

“Wow, it’s not like I wanted to be friends with you anyways.” 

“Yes you did, don’t lie, you love me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, hang out with me on tumblr @ apolloinred!

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @ [robininred](http://robininred.tumblr.com/)!


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